We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
tell me about the fingering
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