I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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