party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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