Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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