party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
