their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ugly people sure do ruin things
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
