3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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