you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
