I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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