Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
