So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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