from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Small penises have feelings too.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize