I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
