is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize