I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
