You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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