I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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