i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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