fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
