Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
