somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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