I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
