you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
