3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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