You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
