I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
