WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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