I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
