You made me cry and you don't even care
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
