So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
