Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
