Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
