Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
