i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
