Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
