That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
