my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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