Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
