Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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