There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My balls are so social today.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
