so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
two words: eviction party
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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