Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
