My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
