nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
