There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you would pick up someone in the library
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
