We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
