Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In other news, I just burned my penis
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
