Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
