I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
