it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
