What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
