You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
