I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
