Who did Billy Mays play for?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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