My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
