Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
