I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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