i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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